4 Steps to Self-Direction When You’re Stuck In Your Head
I find myself stuck in my head a lot. I have the tendency of letting my current circumstances dictate my emotions. I suspect that I’m not alone in this…
A few days ago, while in the midst of an internal temper tantrum, I realized what I was doing. I had wanted to feel sorry for myself and was upset that nobody felt as sorry for me as I did. Something snapped with this sudden realization. I don’t want people to look at me and feel sorry. That’s the opposite of what I want.
This realization led me to question what I do want people to think of me. I asked myself what I want said of me behind closed doors, or when my back is turned. This started off feeling like a weird, self-centric, ego-boosting exercise, but it quickly developed into an eye opening experiment that took me from internal despair to a more rational, realistic mindset. This 4 step exercise is what I want to share with you.
- What do I want said of me?
This is a quick question to get to the root of what you really want out of life, if you’re willing to be honest with yourself. I internalize the fear of what other people think of me more than I care to admit. So much so that in the pit of denial, I’ve actually convinced myself that I really don’t give a fuck about the opinions of other. I’m that cool punk rock guy who’s got his life together and couldn’t care less about your thoughts on how I live, laugh, or love. Turns out, I do give a fuck. This question showed me that. And honestly, I think that’s okay. It’s something built into us. It becomes a problem when you allow those thoughts to pull you away from your true will, but that is a conversation for another time.
Write out a list. Be honest. This is only for you and your betterment.
- What do I want out of life and from myself?
After spending some time on the previous question, my mind was prepped and I had a tangible guide for what I wanted. I’ve known what I want, but this specific act of writing every bit of my desires out hit in a fresh way.
Take your time and work through every thought to get it into a concise sentence. I’d recommend numbering these desires. It will help with the following steps.
- What am I currently doing to get there?
Here’s where our minds start bridging the gap between emotion and logic. This can work in a couple different ways. One, we begin to see that we’re making real progress towards what we really want. Though it may feel slow, movement is movement. Comfort can be found in that. Or two, we may find that we’re not making any progress towards specific desires. If the latter is resonating a little more deeply, then we need to look at our physical circumstances and our true wills. Are our desires being placed on the back burner for good reasons, or is this something that we only think we want, or want to want?
When we want something, we go after it. It’s how we’re wired as humans. Desire produces movement.
Be real with yourself and go through every one of your desires. This is a great way to see what’s on your back burner and what needs to be considered as a legitimate desire.
- What can I do to take bigger steps towards my desires, or how can I be more consistent?
By this time, our rational brains are firing at a similar speed to our imaginative mind. This is sacred ground. Desire and action are resting on the same page.
I am a firm believer that humanity holds the intrinsic ability to guide ourselves in the direction that’s best for us. All of us have the ability to grow. By putting our creative and rational minds to work together, we can get a better understanding of what we need to be doing. Jiddu Krishnamurti said that when we want something badly enough, we know exactly what to do. Take the advice from yourself as gospel. Analyze it. Break it down. Find the truth and put it into practice.
After you’ve finished these four steps, you’ll have clear direction and hopefully some encouragement. Desire can take time to be made tangible. Conjuring your dream isn’t done in a single ceremony. Creating your reality takes faith and action. When you know what you want and you’ve taken the time to plan out your course, trust that you’re on the right path and go. Be open to curves or turns, but stay focused on your desire.
One final note on this process. This is only for you. If you go into this with the intent of sharing your lists with friends, family, or loved ones, you’ll most likely censor yourself. Write this out as if you’re going to take the advice and burn the rest of the page. The goal is personal betterment and course mapping. Only you know the true depths of your desires. If you come to the end and want to share it, by all means, share your work. But be wary of those who would, with the best of intentions, share their opinions.
I hope you’ve found something useful in this. Thank you for taking the time to read. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.
Conjure your dream.